Investments

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The Naughty List

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Christmas is almost here, and that means millions of parents across America are telling their kids to behave themselves or risk winding up on the "Naughty List." (Admit it — if you've got kids, and you celebrate Christmas, you've done it yourself.) But while kids may be on their best behavior, grownups sometimes fail to make the connection between their own behavior and what Santa leaves under the tree. This is especially true when it comes to taxes! Misbehave there, and you risk a lot more than a lump of coal. So here are four cautionary tales to consider as the holiday approaches.

  • Joel Grasman worked as an electrician for the Metropolitan Transit Authority in Long Island. He and his wife owed the IRS $10,000 in tax for failing to report a loan from her pension. So, late one night, Grasman snuck into the yard where he works to steal some welding machines to pay off that debt. He loaded the machines onto his truck just fine, but forgot to lower the long boom on the truck before driving off to store the machines at his brother's garage. Uh oh. “I wanted to get out of there before I attracted any attention and I forgot to put the boom down,

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#Windfall

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Psychologists agree that the ability to concentrate is key to achieving our goals. But today's high-tech world is full of distractions, from thousands of cable TV channels to millions of internet sites, with smart phones constantly within reach. Some experts say our attention span is actually shrinking. So should it be any surprise that Americans have fallen in love with Twitter, the online social networking and "microblogging" site that lets users send and read "tweets" limited to no more than 140 characters?

Twitter attracted confusion (and no small amount of scorn) when it debuted in 2006 — co-founder Jack Dorsey admitted that the service is "a short burst of inconsequential information." But there are now more than 200 million "monthly active users" posting more than 500 million tweets per day. Singer Katy Perry currently has the most followers, at 46.8 million. She's trailed by

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Voting With Your Feet

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It's safe to say that people don't like paying taxes. America was born out of a tax rebellion, and Americans have resisted every variety of tax ever since. Some of them even go as far as renouncing their American citizenship to avoid the tax man.

Expatriation sounds like an awfully big step just to pay less tax. But more and more Americans are doing it. In 1994, Campbell's Soup heir John T. "Ippy" Dorrance III saw greener pastures in Ireland, trading what was then a 55% estate tax for Ireland's 2%. And just last year, Facebook founder Eduardo Saverin "defriended" Uncle Sam and the IRS after moving to Singapore, potentially saving hundreds of millions in tax. Americans who give up their citizenship pony up an "exit tax" on the value of their assets when they leave, essentially paying as if they had sold everything the day before surrendering their passport. But that doesn't stop the determined from leaving — in the second quarter of this year, 1,131 Americans bid bon voyage to their citizenship.

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Story Problems for Grownups

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Back in grade school, you did all sorts of math problems. You started out with drills to learn your basic addition, subtraction, and multiplication. You learned long division (ugh). You moved on to fractions. And all along the way, as part of your teachers' efforts to convince you that it all matters here in the "real world," you did "story problems." Remember those?

Well, now you're all grown up, so here's a grownup story problem to ponder:

You're an IRS auditor, toiling away to protect the government's revenue base. Then you decide to leave "the dark side" and start your own practice. Things start off great, but you want more. So you mock up some fake tax returns, tell some clients they owe $11 million, and have them make payments into a bogus "trust account." Then you take the money for yourself, make some home improvements, buy a beach house in Mexico, pay to use a private plane, pay $2 million on your personal credit cards and loans, and make some investments. It's good to be rich, isn't it? But now there's a teensy-weensy little problem. The IRS is on to you, your clients are hopping mad, and two of them are scheduled to testify against you! What do you do?

Well, if you're Steven Martinez of Ramona, California, you send your limousine driver (!) to offer a hit man $100,000 to take out the clients. But you don't just whisper some names in his ear and slink back home. Oh, no. Because you're an accountant

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A Sweeter Tax Than Most

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When you hear the word "tax," you probably think of something the IRS takes out of your paycheck. Or you might think of something they take out of an inheritance. But taxes affect virtually every financial transaction you make. Take, for example, that simple jar of honey lurking on the shelf in your refrigerator.

Americans eat more honey than anyone else in the world — about 400 million pounds of it a year. Most of it goes towards sweetening foods like cereals, cookies, and breads. Even whiskey producers are adding honey to their blends to attract younger drinkers. (The Scotch Whiskey Association just stung Dewars for labeling their new "Highlander Honey" as "scotch" rather than "spirit drink.")

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You Think You Got Audited?

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Getting an audit notice from the IRS isn't anyone's idea of a party. But it's not the end of the world. Usually the auditor just wants to make sure you're entitled to the breaks you've claimed. Did you really spend as much as you reported on meals & entertainment? Did you really spend enough hours managing your rental properties to qualify as a "real estate professional"? If the IRS finds a mistake, they issue a "deficiency notice" and bill you for what you owe. How bad can it really be?

Well, just ask Raymond J. Lane.